Translation: Oh My God, Iowa girl texts "Zippity Doo Dah" and wins $50,000.
Kate Moore, 15, of Des Moines, IA, won the national texting championship by speed typing the following phrase to edge out her competition in the final round: "Zippity Dooo Dahh Zippity Ayy…MY oh MY, what a wonderful day! Plenty of sunshine Comin' my way…Zippity Do Dah Zippity Aay! WondeRful Feeling Wonderful day!"
The contestants, which numbered more than 250,000 strong, were judged on speed and accuracy of the various phrases they were required to type in head-to-head battles. Moore, who recieved her first cell phone only eight months ago, now offically claims the bragging rights of having the fastest thumbs in America.
Two important points of note:
1) Moore's prize of $50k is nearly twice the amount of the prize for winning the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee (where the top prize is a breezy $30,000). To summarize: the intentional misspelling of words via the omission of key vowels is held in higher regard than the dedicated study of word origins and intricate phonetic structure. If politics is your bag, this is a pretty good jumping off point for a conversation about education reform, no?
2) On that some note, it's not surprising to see a girl from Georgia (proudly serving the nation's worst public school education!) clicking in at second place.Dynda Morgan, 14, of Savannah, Ga., will now forever be stuck with the title of "second fastest thumbs in America." Oh, the shame.
- Alec Wooden
Currently listenting to the sound of my own vomit as I read this story.
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Some mighty important skills our youth is picking up today. What good would a mobile texting defense be when our UFO invading alien enemies are wiping us out with MINDBULLETS!!!!!!! But really, poor girl is from Des Moines, I guess this will be it for her, the one thrilling moment.
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