Ashley Greene: gorgeous? Yes. Victim? Nope.

It's an exciting day for those with not much else to do in their lives but lie in wait for nude pictures of celebrities to "leak" onto the internet. Photos of "Twilight" star Ashley Greene, better known for simply being one of the most gorgeous specimens on the planet, have been posted in every possible nook and cranny of the world wide interweb.

Let's first point out the joyous aspect of this story: one less before it happens to Miley Cyrus! (Yikes! How old is she? Can I joke about that?)

It's the surface story that matters and, when you break it down, Greene's outrage and "I'm a victim" stance are a sham. SHAM. If you've seen them (and I haven't really — just the blurred out versions on news websites), these pictures are not accidental. This is not a case of some creep doing something like, say, peeping through a private hotel room against her will. Rather, Greene's though process is played out in the racy pics — it's clearly "Oh! Camera! Let's lose a shirt. And some pants..."

Listen. Greene is 22 (Miley's elder, if you will). If she wants to have nude pics taken of herself, so be it. It's her right and probably (I wouldn't know) pretty liberating. But hey — choices have consequences, especially when you make your life being under the public microscope. Sorry Ashley — I give all my sympathy to cases like Erin Andrews. But not a shred to cases like this. You're a big girl (even if you did just win 600 teen choice awards). You made a big girl decision. Not deal with your big girl repercussions.

A word to you web geeks out there: Greene and her lawyers intend to sue to any posters of said pics. Hurry kids, "Save File As" while you still can!

By the way, I was kidding about Miley. Please don't sue me.

- Alec Wooden
currently listening to "Azar One" by Venice is Sinking